Mark S. King writes MyFabulousDisease.com and is a blogger for TheBody.com.  Recently he wrote me with questions about Aging with HIV: A Gay Man’s Guide.   Here is what I wrote him:

Thank you for including me in your blog posting on Aging with HIV for MyFabulousDisease.com.  Your site is a perfect forum for this timely dialogue.

In your note you asked several questions about the physical complications of aging with HIV and the emotional interaction between living with HIV and aging into midlife and beyond.  Both, are very big subjects.  And, while there is growing interest in this area, we are just beginning to understand what it means to age with HIV.  We are at the forefront of a new era in HIV treatment, and much like the early days of the epidemic, people living with the virus are the experts and have to keep updated on new developments and partner with their doctors in order to determine the best course of action.

This is the reason why I wrote Aging with HIV: A Gay Man’s Guide – to help gay men who have lived longer than they ever expected as they manage the transition of aging.

The literature presents several emotional challenges that accompany adult development.  They include, among others, physical changes, new roles in the family, and shifts in our work lives. For gay men living with HIV adaptation to aging also involves responding to changes in the AIDS epidemic and the transition of HIV from a terminal illness to a chronic disease.

Aging is a challenge for all of us.  But, for gay men living with HIV it is even more complex. As you know, this generation of gay men living with HIV have spent the last two decades embroiled in a battle with the AIDS epidemic: Caring for themselves and loved ones; living through immeasurable losses; and managing their own threat of mortality.  This war has utilized all their emotional resources and few have had the time to consider the challenge of aging.

It is easy to get stuck in the task of adapting to aging with HIV.  Signs of stagnation include living in the past, isolating, and avoiding social involvement. Research has found higher rates of depression, lack of social support, and reduced quality of life among middle aged and older people living with HIV. Adapting to aging with HIV can become complicated when emotional issues such as HIV-stigma, internalized ageism, unresolved grief, or survivor guilt impact one’s ability to care for oneself fully in the present.

Aging with HIV: A Gay Man’s Guide offers guidance to navigate this uncharted territory.  The book draws from my qualitative research, as well as my training as a psychotherapist and 20 years of experience in the field.  Questions and exercises guide the reader through self-examination to evaluate how he is adapting to the challenges of aging with HIV and to develop tools to optimize their experience.  There are quotes from gay men living with HIV, as well as brief text boxes that review the relevant research. The book also includes a chapter by James Schmidtberger, MD, Director of the Leicht Clinic, an HIV-clinic in New York City, reviewing the medical research on HIV over fifty.

My hope is that Aging with HIV: A Gay Man’s Guide will start conversations across the country that normalize the experience of aging and empower gay men to define for themselves what it means to optimally age with HIV.